I Am Reikonscian

And then are the screams. There’s always the screams, next. They take me out of my nostalgia, my thinking. It doesn’t matter what kinds of screams. The bellowing Orks from Isendor, or the cackling monsters on Everos Prime, or the screams of Corporal Violet as she writhed on the ground, clawing at the spikes embedded in her stomach. The screams would some, and I would look away from the vastness of the sky, the stars, the moon. I would return to reality, to the mission; there was rarely time to enjoy the stars. Unlike the universe they inhabited, I lived in a much different reality. Where time was endless in the vast basin of existence itself, down here, on the surface of whatever world I was stationed on at the time, there was only war.

This time around, the planet is Verven VI and the mission is assassination. The fishheads are holed up on one side of the city, the remnants of the Elysian 33rd in the other. The entirety of the world was engulfed in war, but this city was special. In the depths of this city, the fishheads were footed. All their offensives, their actions, traced roots back here, to the city of Eren. To the chief fishhead, the one they call Aun’o. The one they call Ethereal. Today, they will learn to call him by a new name: sushi.

I wave two fingers forward, pointing at the wall ahead. It is covered in heretical xenos glyphs and symbols. Sergeant Reth advances cautiously, hefting a heavy lascutter and crouching, resting the device on his knee. I hold up my left hand, fingers counting down from five. As I fold my index finger and tuck it into the palm of the hand, Reth pumps the bulky tool once and squeezes the trigger. A liquid-hot jettison of fire pours from the burned, metallic nozzle, ripping into the wall and melting away steel like skin from the scalp of a burning man. The fwoosh-hiss of the lascutter echoes once and begins to die down as the jettison comes to a stop, a small hole carved into the side of the building. The alien symbols have dissolved into a contorted blob of reddish markings from the heat, and the wall is searing hot to the touch.

Jerking my head and waving forward, I move into the dark corridor slowly, quietly drawing Lilah from her sheathe, the nimble sword an extension of my own limbs. In the other hand is my bolt pistol, a silencer capped to the muzzle. My navy blue and dark crimson garments blend in seamlessly with the dankly lit shadows. Behind me, the other members of my squad follow, careful and quiet. Sergeant Reth watches out rear, moving up slowly from the six – in these tight quarters, his lascutter will function as much as a weapon as it will a tool.

I lighten my step, coming to a cautious halt at the end of a corner. I can hear heavy footsteps, thudding against the floor. Each fall of the foot is like a sharp click, ringing out plainly. Alien voices mutter amongst themselves. Holding up my left arm in a rigid bend, darkened casing of the bolt pistol a mere outline against the hallway, the squad stops. A moment later, a pair of Tau Fire Warrior round the corner, hooves a milky brown, armour a gray-black camo pattern. Each one hefts an elongated rifle, a pulse-carbine. More importantly, however, neither are expecting my team. I roll forward almost naturally, Lilah unfurling in my grip like an elegant baton. She hums to life, cutting through the first Fire Warrior like a knife through hot butter. Its armour cleaves in two, skin evaporating at the touch of the blade.

As the bisected remains of the alien fall to the ground, a purplish blood splashes against my boots. I am already onto the second Fire Warrior, Lilah plunged deep into its torso. The alien makes a foreign noise and stumbles back as I yank my blade out and kick the creature away. Two muffled shots of the bolt pistol finish it off, blowing melon-sized holes into its body as chunks of bone and blood lap against the wall behind it.

The corpse thuds to the ground with a clang and we are on our way once more.

“Looks like they know we’re here, Lieutenant,” Corpman Tress mutters softly from behind me.

“Let them come,” I answer back coolly as I near a staircase. The air smells like dead fish mixed with boar and singed wood, the only lighting the faint blue back-up sticks along the wall.

At the top of the staircase there stands a lone Fire Warrior. He is dead before he can react, a trio of shots in the mesh of his neck. Behind me, smoke wisps from Tress’s autogun. This time, our presence does not go unnoticed. A door opens in the hallway to the left, a Fire Warrior steps out, holding a pulse pistol. It squeezes its trigger once, and behind me, Trooper Dath howls in pain. I put a shot in the Tau’s head before it can do anything else, and blood explodes on the doorway, the body slumping lifelessly to the floor.

From the window leading to the roof, another pair of Tau emerge, taking up firing positions from the roof outside, rifles rested on the window sill. I dash next a wall, obscured to the xenos. The rest of my squad similarly seeks cover. I nod at Trooper Dak, slouched behind an overturned crate, and he tosses a pair of flashbang grenades into the corridor. A second of a pause, and then: bang. Tress and Trooper Jath pop out of cover and open fire, shotgun and autogun ringing together. The Tau drop to the ground, and we advance once more, in the direction of the enemy. I kick out the window and leap down onto the roof below. In front of me one of the Fire Warriors lays on its back, trying to crawl away. It shakes its head feverishly as I raise my sword, and then it is dead, head skittering against the paved rooftop like a stone in the water on a cool summer’s eve. Blood puddles on the ground.

“Dak, can you make it?” I ask, almost as a second thought – I already know the answer.

“I’m good, ma’am. Little hungry, though. I hear the locals make great steak. Mind if we stop somewhere on the way back?”

“Not sure if we’ll have time for that,” I answer, “How do you feel about fish?” I unfurl a rope from my backpack and bolting it in place on the ledge of the building.

“Sounds fine to me, ma’am,” Dak responds, setting his own rope in place. Beside us, Jath does the same. The three of us rappel down together simultaneously, the guards at the front of the building completely aloof to the threat behind them. As my feet hit the ground, I step away from my rope and cover Tress and Reth as the pair make their own descent. The five of us dash into the cover of the shadows cast by an overhead building, Dak on our six and limping slightly. Although his wound had been cauterised on impact, it is still noticeable, layer of flesh seared right off of his thigh. The soldier does well to cover his pain, but with each muffled grunt I know it is becoming harder for him to keep up.

I motion for the squad to stop as I hear noises ahead. The door on the building in front of us hisses open to reveal two Fire Warriors, side by side. They are felled almost immediately, and the doors shut behind them for a moment. When they open again, a stacatto of pulse fire rips into the air. Dak is ripped to shreds before he can reach cover, but the others make it. I prime a frag grenade and throw it into the door, then signal for Jath and Reth to advance. Gunfire as the smoke clears, then nothing. We march into the building and are greeted almost immediately by an elaborate elevator. The four of us that remain enter it as a single entity, and Tress thumbs the button for the top level. “Going up.”

A minute later, the elevator comes lurching to a stop. As soon as the doors open, Jath and I run into the room, the others covering us from the elevator. A wide window that spans the length of the wall is on the reverse side of the room, a xenos in elaborate silken robes beside it. In front of him stand two bodyguards, each armed with a spear jolting with electricity. Various other retinue populate the room. I bring Lilah into the heart of one such soldier as he reaches for his gun, simultaneously firing the bolt pistol into another. I lunge for the Ethereal, only to be blocked by one of his guards. We break apart, eying other carefully as the rest of the skirmish seems to melt away. The warrior whirls his staff, taking up a combat stance. I stand there, pistol at my side, Lilah pointed towards him. Two more honour guard rise to the occasion, blocking my way to the Ethereal. A fourth stands beside his charge. The tension rises as everything in the room is silent for a moment. I can hear the jittering of the buzz-staffs, the nervous breathing of the Ethereal.

And then life seems to pick up again. The fourth guard begins to lead the Ethereal away from the fight, to a door to the left of the room. The others advance forward, daring us to move.

“We don’t have time for this,” I shout, “He’s getting away! Reth, go after him!”

Tress and Jath open fire on the guards, distracting them as Reth dashes past them, after the Ethereal, shotgun in tow. I engage with my own opponent, blade crackling against pike in a whirling, spinning melee. Each motion is barely visible, each nanosecond the difference between life or death. I parry a blow to the torso and break off once more, raising my bolt pistol slowly. The Tau hesitates, for a moment, and that is what I had wanted. I dash forward, and Lilah is embedded in the bodyguards chest. I twist sharply, and look into the eyes of the Tau, its gray skin, its dull retina. It sighs, once, and then dies as I free Lilah of the body. Blood slicks against the ornate red carpeting of the room, and I turn to see where the rest of my squad stands. Tress lies crumpled on the floor, but both guards are dead.

I nod once to Reth: “Come on, we’ve got to catch up with them!”

Racing into the next room, I round the corner to find two Fire Warriors blocking my path. Adrenaline still pumping through my body, I dispatch both of the creatures without thought, not slowing my run as I dash down the long hallway. It ends in a kicked-down door, a dead warrior on the ground, blue blood smeared on the wall. I step over the corpse and enter an elaborate hangar. Lilah cuts into the nearest guard, cleanly slicing his head off.

My long hair is a tangled mess, its black sheen dulled by red and blue smears, matted with blood and grime. I can feel pain in my chest and see liquid oozing out of it. I hadn’t even realised I’d been hit. In front of me I see the smoking remains of Sergeant Reth, beside him three dead Tau. And ahead of that, slumped against an alien craft, Aun’o. He holds a pistol in one hand, though his wrist is limp; his once-white robes are ripped and bloodied.

“Aun’o,” I mutter simply, pulling back the release on my bolt pistol and feeding it a new clip.

“Gue’la,” he answers in kind, “Your masters send you to silence me. But why?” Aun’o grins, smugly, “Because they fear the truth! If only you would see it. If only you would see the Greater Good!”

“I’ve no interest in bowing to your Greater Good, Tau,” I answer plainly, stepping forward and squaring my bolt pistol at the Ethereal, “Better war than bondage.”

Aun’o's eyes flicker. “So says the slave to the free man.”

A pause. And then Aun’o fires his gun, the pulse shot punching through my armour. It takes me by surprise, and I stumble forward slightly, blood spattering on the floor as I wheeze and gasp for breath. Another shot brings me to my knees, and I look down at the puddle of blood welling about my legs.

“You have made your decision, Gue’la. And so in death are you freed.” The Etheral slowly points its weapon at my head, rising to his feet.

“The Emperor protects!” I manage to gasp, surging to my feet with a final rush of power. Aun’o puts another shot into my stomach, but it does not stop me from lunging forward.

Lilah embeds herself cleanly into Aun’o's skull. Blood spatters onto the ground, and the energy sheathe around Lilah begins to boil the Etheral’s brains from the inside out. I stand there for a moment, breathing heavily and dazed, as if frozen by the act, the world around me slowly grinding to a halt… and then time resumes, my blurred senses racing back to a screaming peak as the adrenaline rush returns. I yank my sword free, and the body topples to the ground with an almost ceremonial thump, and I turn around slowly to see Jath approaching me with purpose in his stride, his expression visibly changing as he sees the wounds pock-marked on my body.

“You alright, ma’am?” he asks worriedly.

“Fekking fantastic,” I laugh bitterly, shaking my head and stepping towards him. As I do so, my eyes wander to the open doors of the hangar. It is dark outside, now. The moon shines as brightly as ever, the stars twinkle in its gaze, and I wonder for a moment which star I might call home next. Home is not where the meadows lie, where memoirs of a girl’s childhood lay buried in the attic. Not where memories of hide and seek in the old forest by the river are traced back to, not where the familiar music settles you into a restful slumber. The twinkle of the night sky, the shine of the stars above… So long as there’s a star worth fighting for, there will always be a war worth fighting.

I laugh to myself, remembering an old saying my dad used to tell me on those calm nights, when I still a girl, still curious. I would curl up in his lap and ask him why mom was never home. He would smile warmly at me, brushing the hair off of my face, and tell me that she was home. I would ask him what he meant, and he would say to me, gently, “Wherever she is, I’m sure she is at home. You see, it doesn’t matter if she’s with us, or watching the sun set over the hills, or even across the galaxy on Holy Terra itself… home is where the heart is.”
I turn away from the sight, the memories fading once more, and turn back to Jath. Slowly, I gaze about the hangar one final time. The arid smoke clogs my senses. I am dizzy from blood less, and gore is spattered on the ground like an abstract style of paint. Corpses litter the ground, fires crackle in the background. I can hear gunfire and artillery in the distance, the footsteps of approaching Tau more closely. The first of the xenos enters the hangar, and as Lilah responds with a gentle kiss, alien blood swathing my legs; as the staccatos of gunfire outside and the lullabies of war make their way to my senses, I know I am home.

My name is Lieutenant Mel Raness, and I am a Reikonscian.